Beloved Oli!!!!!

Beloved Oli,
Hope you are great today, sending you lots and lots of LOVE and kisses while writing this post.
Wanted to share with you a couple of things that lead to the separation/divorce so I kindly ask you to read this till the end. Your current judgement is probably mainly influenced by whatever your mum told you about me but it is high time for you to know my version of events too. A month ago, we were a happy family, we went to the playground, to the valley, I asked your mum out for a 'date'- it was all normal, happy, predictable, loving family, and you were as always happy.. then I also was holding you on my arms for the last time... out of the blue, your mum called me two days before the planned return to Singapore that herself and you are not going. She gave the two following reasons: differences in upbringing and her 'fears came true' (what that meant will explain you in a while). The following day I got the letter from court that in practice meant restricting my rights to any decision making about your life. She had been preparing that move (talking to lawyers, her mum obviously behind my back) for more than 6 months while at the same time pretending everything was fine. She would say that she loved me, was happy here.. but planning to never come back with us/me. After we had an argument (which is normal) I asked her- 'is there anything we should talk about'? or should we go for a family therapy or are we good? her response was - yes, all is fine, let's move on, problem sorted out... but at the back of her head she was thinking - I will leave him, divorce him, never come back.. one cannot do such things/behave like that - it is simply lying the other person, and not being honest.. She would say that I was 'treating her terribly' here but I guess she never mentioned anything about how she was treating me. So please let me give you a couple of examples: 1. never appreciated my efforts to support the family; 2. when I was coming back from work after 10 hours exhausted - instead of greeting me and saying 'hi hunny, how are you' - she would ask what have you bought or what is in these carrier bags..; 3. she was jealous and insecure- accused me thrice (over the period of 10 months) of heating on her (once because I swiped the screen of my ipad to fast) - of course I do not have to mention that have always been loyal to her, supportive and loving; 4. preferred to watch Turkish series (soap operas) or wasting hours and days on Facebook rather than talking or hugging..; 5. also preferred to talk to her mum thrice the amount of time she talked to me (and kept saying it was my fault); 6. when I was coming back from home after work in Korea - she did not even looked at me and kept talking to her mum (by the way will write you a separate post on how her mum was treating me and you will find some of the things shocking); 7. was always taking and taking with two hands, 100% devotion from me, 5% from her in return.. 8. she was lying to me, my parents and your Grandparents, her parents (strangely enough), our friends, etc. The list goes on but please understand that I was fine with all of those issues we had, and I never complaint (all people who know me, or lived with me witness that am happy and positive person) until and unless your mum started complaining about not enough money, savings, me not helping her, etc. Again will write you a separate blog on the issues related to money, as according to her - that was everything I cared for, which was/is/will be an absolute nonsense and will share with you bank account details, list of transactions, and so on to prove that. Anyway, the purpose of this entry is not to put your mum in a negative spotlight and me only in positive one- I do have my own weaknesses (we all do), am sometimes inpatient, or have 0 tolerance for lying for instance. The point is to be happy and positive at all times, appreciate whatever you have, be grateful for things that others do for you. I always tried to be honest, open, truthful, have my decency, dignity, straight ethical and moral spine, and have the courage to look into everyone's eyes (including those who betrayed me). Unfortunately some of these characteristics worked against me as not everyone likes to hear the truth..Anyway, have forgiven your mom for what she has done to us- and is time to move on.. Beloved Oli- have to slowly but surely go to bed as tomorrow is another busy day at work- am supervising one student from Imperial College London - unfortunately she is lagging behind her project and have to keep motivating and inspiring her.. Will write soon again.. Love you as ALWAYS- forever and ever- my Precious Flower!!! Good night, sleep well.............................

Singapore, 31.07.2017